It finally sunk in tonight what just happened today (Sunday, January 20th). For YEARS I have AVOIDED baby showers or went wearing a happy face mask to ones for those really close to me. Today we were blessed with our own shower for our own baby! Tears came to my eyes as I posted a thank you message on Facebook because it made the reality of us having a son sink in all the more. In the car on the way to the shower, I was telling our exchange student daughter how I couldn't believe that today's shower was really for us! Today's shower was more than a baby shower. It was a visual depiction of God's blessings of our LONG-awaited child.
Those who have faced or are facing infertility will be able to relate to this ... Going to a baby shower is like reopening a bad wound. Once you finally start to think you are coping with your loss (and it is a loss that needs to be grieved), you have infertility reality shoved in your face again. Baby showers and new life is exciting and should be celebrated, but it is hard to celebrate when you've been told you can't have or might not be able to have what your friend or family member is celebrating. Most often baby showers are coupled with birth stories or others sharing their family-building stories. This can be very uncomfortable for those facing infertility. I even read a book once that encouraged infertile couples to avoid baby showers. Back in our seminary days, I remember a dear friend of mine being my "date" to baby showers because she was facing the same things I was. We were a support to each other and still are to this day. For those of you who thought I was too distant when your little one came, now you know why. I really was excited ... but I was also hurting. For those of you walking in our shoes or even just starting to try them on for size, I understand! I can also say that staying focused on the truth that God is in control, knows best, wants the best, and has a perfect plan gave me the strength and comfort I needed! Facing struggles of your own of any form? Trusting in God through it all makes all the difference! Life might not be what you pictured, but a time will come when you will see that life is better than you could have ever pictured.
One can imagine how overwhelming it was today to finally be able to celebrate my own baby story at my own shower! Tears come to my eyes right now as I think about the fact that I am really and finally a mommy ... and of a baby! I have longed for this day so much and for so long! I can't even express what today's shower meant to me (and Eric and Eli). It was also a blessing to think about how many people have FAITHFULLY prayed for our adoption and were finally able to see in person the answer to their prayers.
The baby showering didn't just start today ... it started the week Eli came into our home. Several of my co-workers surprised me with some gifts the Thursday before we picked up Eli. Family and family friends gave gifts the day of our placement. People have stopped by to visit us and gave us gifts when they came. Eric is still coming home from church with gifts!
The showering of baby gifts has truly been a reminder of God's provisions. All Eric and I pretty much had for Eli when we received our placement call was a baby room. By the time we picked up Eli a few short days later, we had the basic essentials needed ... several packs of diapers, a few outfits, some washcloths, some baby soap and lotion, some wipes, some pacifiers, a medical kit, and a few other essentials. Our case worker always told us that going to a placement was as simple as a quick target run, but God provided what we needed at just the right times! Many adoptive families are in the same situation as we were ... not knowing the time, child, gender, age, etc. of the future child(den), so there's not much planning that can be done. Thankfully we serve a God who is and who is bigger than adoption needs and baby supplies!!!
Today ... Humbling. Overwhelming. A blessing. A gift. Exciting! We are still in the shock phase from our adoption, but are incredibly grateful that it is finally our turn to be called mommy and daddy and to have our turn at a baby shower! God's plan is always bigger and better than our own ... even times of discouragement and disappointment can turn out later to be the biggest times of encouragement and excitement!
Thank you to those who made today so very special!!!! We are so blessed and so grateful! Now I can face baby showers!
1 comment:
As I have shared with you, I can so relate to what you are saying. We had an available room, but not set up as a baby room. It was just too painful to look at, with not knowing when or if it was going to happen.
Now I have 5 grandkids! The Lord blesses.
Mother's day is also a time that used to be very painful. Now you will look forward to it with joy.
Kathy
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