Severed

It was a year ago today that we first received the news that our first adoption process was at its end. On March 24, 2011, Eric and I read an email from a contact person who was near the location of our international princesses. Her words turned us around 180 degrees! Her email basically said that our adoption of the princesses would not be able to be completed (I can explain in person if you ask, but for their protection I won't mention it online). Ouch! That certainly pierced our hearts. Eric called me during my lunch break to notify me of the message, so that means I read those words in between my classes. After ending the call with Eric, I went to my principal's office to notify him of the news. He listened carefully to my heart and then prayed over the situation right then! That's a loving, Christian principal right there! That was a HUGE encouragement and help to me that day! I then had to go back to my class and act like nothing had happened! If I would have focused on it then, I would have had a waterfall of tears that would have flooded the school. We had just finished our adoption blood work and doctor visits that week, and we were about to send our paperwork overseas for the adoption of our princesses. We began to wonder why God allowed this to happen, but we had to keep our focus on the answer: God has a plan! He knows EVERYTHING and has our best interest in mind! We just had to be thankful for the time God did allow us to invest in the girls and trust in God. It still hurt for a while, even though I covered it up well. I even went to church that Sunday and acted like I was fine. I wasn't, though. However, God stayed faithful and was my comfort.

The following month was waiting for confirmation from other sources to see if this news was really true. It was. After receiving this confirmation, we decided to take time to pray about what God wanted us to do and to not talk about adoption for about two weeks. We also decided to read through a certain part of scripture and see what God revealed to us. Close to that time was when our special friends from church told us about Covenant Care. That conversation is what led us to where we are today . . . adopting a baby from America! The road has been hard and bumpy, but I wouldn't have wanted to travel down any other road! I'd rather take God's best and endure the bumps instead of take what I think is best and enjoy the smooth ride. It was on that bumpy road that God showed Himself faithful, present, comforting, real, and in control. As with many experiences in life, we have been able to look back in hind sight and see God's hand in it all. I can say with confidence that God really does have a plan. Those words in the Bible are really true. God cares for me and my future. God cares about our desire to have a family. It was His truth, love, and grace that got us to this point today - for that alone I am forever grateful!