Their Names Mean Brave

Behind every cover of a book is a story. Behind every play is a director. Behind every door is a gateway. Behind every adoption is a heart - the heart of a birthmom, the heart of the adoptive child, the heart of the adoptive parent, the heart of the adoptive family caseworker, the heart of the birthmother caseworker. So much goes on behind the scenes of an adoption. My sons did not just fall on my front doorstep by a stork or an Amazon Prime shipment. Adoption involves prayer, patience, and sacrifice. Adoptive families make sacrifices to adopt, but birthmother's are the ones who truly exemplify sacrifice.

My name was the witness signature of a birthmother's adoption paperwork in November. I saw her hold her son for the last time as she sat on her hospital bed and signed her adoption plan papers. Ten days after that signature was signed, her parental rights were officially surrendered to allow her son to enter the care of a family she lovingly chose to parent him. As one of the four people to sign those papers and see firsthand the birthmother's pen form a life-changing signature, my love for birthmoms grew greater than it already was.

My name was the signature on the card we gave Zeke's birthmother when we met with her in early April. I saw her expressions as she spoke with us. I heard her heart as she asked important questions regarding her son's future parents. I'll never forget the words she softly spoke when talking about her hopes and dreams for her son: "I hope he doesn't hate me for this." I maintained my composure, but inside I was crying the tears she was fighting back. Zeke's Birthmom, your son will always hear from us about how much you love him! That meeting showed another layer of pain and loss that birthmothers face. It also showed another layer of love that birthmothers give.

My name was the signature on the adoption papers to bring Eli and Zeke into our family. My signature signified that now I was forever Mom to these two amazing boys. That completed signature line indicated that motherly responsibilities were now upon me. I gladly welcomed them - the responsibility and my sons. I sadly grieved along with the birthmothers who are mourning their loss. Again, my love and admiration for birthmothers grew.

Their names were the signatures that gave me two amazing gifts called Elijah and Ezekiel. Their names I pray for every day. Their names I remember. Their names I admire. Their names mean brave.

 

The Adoption Roller Coaster Part 1

Roller coaster rides at theme parks invoke excitement, thrill, energy, and suspense that often leave riders with the desire to stand in hour-long lines just for the 30-second satisfaction of riding them all over again. (Or, you may be like me and leave roller coaster rides with nauseousness and the need for a chiropractic adjustment!) The adoption process often feels like a roller coaster ride - moments of ups and downs, twists and turns, knowns and unknowns, smooth spots and jerky times, straight paths and winding curves, tears and laughter, thrills and disappointments, surprises and reality. Regardless of the roller coaster highs and lows, adoptive families still find themselves waiting in line to embark on the adoption roller coaster ride all over again. 

This past year of adoption felt like a roller coaster - an emotional roller coaster! The waiting time was easier for me because of having Eli to love on and having so much work to do, but Eric found the wait a struggle. The wait for our second son was shorter than the wait for our first son, but it still left us with feelings of concern as to whether adoption was really going to happen for us again. In those moments of uncertainty, there was nothing else to do but stay in the waiting line of God's perfect timing and complete control. 

Adoption is a roller coaster of trust - trust in the Lord! We saw this in action in late January when we had an adoption miscarriage. On January 19th, we were asked by our caseworker to pray about a certain situation and to submit an updated child preference form. We did. While conducting class the following day, I received a call from Eric letting me know that we had been matched! The time had come!!!! We had waited in the roller coaster line for so long to hear this exciting news! We agreed to meet with the birthmother that Friday. On Wednesday, we received news of our "daughter's" birth and saw her picture! She was beautiful and we were excited! We had even picked out her name! By Thursday, our emotional roller coaster took a turn that left us disappointed. The birthmom decided to parent. That's good for her but challenging for us. We waited in line to ride THAT ride?!?! That's a very natural response once so invested into a situation with great possibilities, but then there was a change of heart. Yes, we had waited in line for THAT ride! It was difficult, but it was worth it. It was all part of the adoption story God was writing for us. Trusting in God was necessary (as it always is). If nothing else, that birthmom and beautiful girl received so much prayer support that week (and so did we). God even had us in the right spot with the right people at the right time. For example, I was meeting with an adoptive mom at the exact time of our "daughter's" birth. It was a gift from the Lord to walk through that week with a wonderful friend who had taken a similar ride before (except of a greater magnitude). Although it all happened so fast and didn't end the way we expected it would, it was all part of God's plan. His plan is perfect and His timing is perfect! We learned so much about faith that week - a lesson God had been teaching us simultaneously through another major life decision. Talk about an up and down mix of emotions on that brief part of our adoption roller coaster!!! God is faithful (as He always is), and was preparing us for the next thrill of our adoption roller coaster ride . . . 

At this very moment I see the blessing of waiting in line to ride the most thrilling adoption roller coaster - the roller coaster ride that led me to my second son. He sleeps in my arms this very moment! All six cuddly pounds of him warms my body and my heart. He sleeps so peacefully, unaware of all that just took place in his life. Although only his forever mommy for a few long days, it feels as if he has been a part of our family forever - I was just waiting to welcome him home! Now I sit on the joyous part of the ride, but I must admit, the month of April felt like riding on pins and needles in a dark tunnel (yet sensing a glimmer of light at the end). This part of the roller coaster ride was definitely full of suspense! . . .